Sunday, May 20, 2007

07号外【34】之《It’s not the end, but the beginning…》


116分钟的一来一往……
切尔西1-0曼联。
温布利大球场重新开张后的第一个足总杯冠军诞生了。
切尔西!
Didier Drogba pounced five minutes from the end of extra-time to hand Chelsea the FA Cup and thwart Manchester United's Double dream with a 1-0 win at Wembley.
Among the biggest let-downs of a final where tired legs ensured there was no hope of lofty pre-match expectations being met by England's top two, Drogba produced his 33rd and final goal of an incredible season at just the right time as a penalty shoot-out seemed certain.
It was harsh luck on United, who were marginally the better side, but there was so little in the contest they could not really complain and the excellence of Drogba's finish, after playing an excellent one-two with Frank Lampard, was beyond debate. United did their best to rally but after a draining season, in which they extended every sinew to finish champions, they had nothing left to give as two teams too tired to reach the Champions League final did finally fall on the ropes exhausted.
The evidence of a draining campaign was there for all to see. Cristiano Ronaldo and Drogba, widely accepted as the best two players in the Barclays Premiership, were virtual bystanders. Ronaldo was walking by the end of normal time, unable to raise a gallop to aid Wayne Rooney as the United youngster tried in vain to inspire his side to a late winner without the need for an extra 30 minutes.
As usual, Rooney defied his body, pushing it to the absolute maximum.
One admirable burst took him from one box to another without single team-mate able to support.
But like so much in this heavyweight contest, a brief moment of excitement gave way to a sigh of disappointment.
At least there was something to enthuse about after half-time for, after the big build-up, the opening 45 minutes proved to be the dampest of damp squibs.
Aside from Paul Scholes dropping deep and isolating Chelsea's full-backs with a series of eye-catching crossfield passes, the creative element to the game was non-existent. It was more an exaggerated arm-wrestle in which neither side was prepared to give an inch.
Despite losing so many key men to injury, Chelsea did create the most obvious of what could be classed as opportunities. Frank Lampard's long-range effort skimmed the top of Edwin van der Sar's net without ever looking like going in it.
The England international also stormed onto Paulo Ferreira's square ball only to find the United keeper's giant frame in the way as he tried to fire into the bottom corner.
With Ronaldo subdued, Ryan Giggs equally muted and Scholes' pinpoint passing not triggering the required response, United looked to Rooney for a spark.
It took the half-time introduction of Arjen Robben for Joe Cole to send a current of electricity through the contest to finally jerk it into life.
The Dutchman's direct running forced United into a defensive rethink but also encouraged Chelsea to shed some discipline too in the hope of gaining a reward.
As gaps started to open, Petr Cech was forced into his first save as Rooney wriggled his way into space and let fly with a powerful 25-yard effort.
That dreaded offside flag rendered Giggs' attempt to ram home the rebound worthless but Cech denied him anyway.
On the cusp of another piece of history, Giggs volleyed United's best chance just over after Scholes had dropped one of his devastating bombs over the Chelsea defence.
Inspired by Robben, Chelsea were getting into the attacking spirit as well and after Scholes had picked up the first yellow card of the contest for upending Lampard, Drogba struck the outside of a post with his low free-kick.
But United were on something of a roll. Cech dived bravely at the feet of Rooney after Terry seemed to lose his bearings on the edge of the six-yard area, then Michael Essien thundered into Giggs to prevent the Red Devils skipper causing havoc after he had beaten the Chelsea offside trap.
Essien produced a replica meaty challenge to snuff out the danger when Rooney skipped past Ferreira in stoppage time, by which point Lampard had almost, but not quite, carved out an excellent shooting chance for himself.
Extra-time brought more evidence of legs drained of energy, plus a moment of controversy as Giggs slid in to meet Rooney's far-post cross.
The United skipper rose to claim the ball had crossed the line as Cech clutched it to his body.
TV replays showed Giggs was correct, although if it had not been for him maintaining his slide to bundle into Cech, he would not have been.
Still, as referee Steve Bennett did not give what appeared to be an obvious foul, United could feel aggrieved, although not as aggrieved as Chelsea would have been if they had fallen behind.
Jose Mourinho could have had no complaint if Rooney had been able to control another inspired Scholes pass. Instead, not for the first time, Cech came to the rescue with a brave save which, in the end, was to prove so crucial.
从2006年8月开锣一直到现在的英格兰秋季终于在切尔西捧杯的一刹那,圆满落幕。
曼联终于摆脱三个球季的失落,终于从切尔西手中夺回联赛冠军的宝座!
但是在球季的最后一天,在勇敢地顽强抵抗了切尔西排山倒海地攻势后,还是功败垂成,终于被切尔西的第一号杀手,前锋德罗巴的一记近射打败!
唉,历史性的4次双冠成了泡影。
无奈!
自从莫里尼奥执掌切尔西帅印以来,老弗爷始终没有占到上风。
似乎冥冥中,莫里尼奥就是老弗爷的克星。
顽强地证明曼联不是切尔西的手下败将的球季终于落幕,曼联算是成功还是失败呢?
这个球季曼联似乎占到了上风,有在最后关头功败垂成……
所以这不是结局,是一个开始……
尤其是在联赛,曼联虽然已经证明了自己的能耐,下个球季才是决胜圈!
在英格兰杯赛,曼联始终是英格兰里赢得最多次的球队——11次,但是面对紧跟在后的10次赢家阿森纳,曼联还是要小心。
在欧洲,看来老弗爷还有一段路要走。
2007/08球季一定会是一个更精彩的争夺战!
Chelsea, we will be back!!!
Glory Glory Man United, Glory Glory Man United……

Monday, May 07, 2007

07号外【33】之《Champion AGAIN!!!》


Without further delay…
Ah boo will like to announce that Manchester United is the 2006/2007 Barclays English Premier League CHAMPION again!!!
No matter what happen at Stamford Bridge on Tuesday, no matter if we are gonna face West Ham on the last day…
Manchester United… the Red Devils have done it again!
9th title in 15th season!
Phenomenal!
Let’s congratulate them!!!
After so many years… after Arsenal and Chelsea for the past three years… it is Manchester United AGAIN!!!

I love you, Manchester United!!!
暂时忘掉欧冠杯的失落,暂且不要太担心下个星期的足总杯决赛!
红魔终于再次证明了谁才是英格兰联赛的王中王!
是朋友的,就到阿不的部落来留下祝语吧!
因为阿不现在实在太开心了!!!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

07号外【32】之《你冷不冷?》

从阿谁阿谁那里“不问自取”来的……
十八超強冷笑話:(如果不好笑,千万不要笑,如果你认为好笑,你或许有点可笑……)

1. 有一颗手榴弹,一天它吃完饭,清一清它的牙齿,突然发现牙缝间有根刺, 它就用力的把它拔出来,结果就爆炸了……
2. 阿呆在沙漠里快要饿死了,突然间让他捡到了一个神灯。
神灯里的仙子对他说:我只可以实现你一个愿望。
阿呆:我……我要……
神灯仙子不耐烦道:快说吧,我赶时间。
人:我……我要一个老婆……
神灯仙子一听,立刻变出一个绝色美女给他,然后不屑的说:
都快饿死了还贪图美色,真是可悲!说完就消失了。
阿呆这才继续:……饼。
3. 蚯蚓一家人有一天觉得很无聊,小蚯蚓就把自己切成了两段,打羽毛球去了,
蚯蚓妈妈觉得这方法不错,就把自己切成四段打麻将去了,蚯蚓爸爸低头想了想,就把自己切成了十多段,变成了肉碎…… 蚯蚓妈妈哭着说:你怎么这么傻?切得这样碎是会死的!蚯蚓爸爸虚弱地说:……俺突然想踢足球嘛。
4. 龟兔赛跑,兔子很快的便跑到前面去了。
乌龟在路上看到一只爬得很慢很慢蜗牛,不忍心地对他说:“你上来,我背你吧。” 然后,蜗牛就上来了。过了一会,乌龟又看到一只爬得不快的蚂蚁,又对他说:“你也上来吧,我背你。” 于是,蚂蚁也上来了。蚂蚁上来以后,看到上面的蜗牛,就对蜗牛打招呼,说了句:“你好!大家知道蜗牛的回答是什么吗?
蜗牛很紧张地对蚂蚁说:你抓紧点,这乌龟好快……”
5. 阿呆到河边钓鱼,他先放了面包做鱼饵,可是等半天没鱼上钩……
然后他又换了一条蚯蚓,一样等了许久没鱼上钩……
没办法之下,他只好再换了一只小虾,可还是一样没鱼上钩……
最后在恼羞成怒之下,阿呆掏出了一百大元当鱼饵摔入水中说:
妈的~ 要吃什么自己死去买吧!
6. 阿呆对眼科医生抱怨:医生,我看不清太远的东西呢。
医生于是把阿呆带到外面,用手指着天上的太阳,问道:你看那是什么?
阿呆回答:太阳。
医生懒洋洋道:那你还想看多远~
7. 有一天众动物要去开大会,走到关公庙前面, 突然闻到很臭的气味。
蛇说:我这么小不会放这么臭的屁的,一定是牛干的好事!
牛立刻澄清:我是吃草的,绝对不会放那么臭的屁!一定是猪~
猪委屈地说:不是我啊~ 我……我认为放屁的人一定会脸红的……
这时关公突然从庙里奔了出来,一掌将猪打飞,大怒道:
要我说多少次啊~ 我这脸天生就是红的!
8. 一天,殡仪馆送来了三具尸体,可是说也奇怪,三具尸体脸上都是充满笑容的。殡仪馆管理员很纳闷地问警察:他们为什么死了还在笑啊?
警察说:这……说来话长。你看左边那个人,他是跟老婆在共度春宵时,
在最激情的那一刻,受不了而死的,所以……
管理员理解:唉……牡丹花下死,做鬼也风流,怪不得死了还在笑。
那中间那一个是怎么死的?
警察:中间那一个……死得也够惨的。他在家里吃饭的时候,突然接到一个电话,告诉他说他买的彩票中了头奖,而奖金有八亿多!接着他开心的哈哈哈大笑三声后,结果心脏病发作,也挂了……
管理员道:唉……乐极生悲,乐极生悲呀~那剩下的最后一个呢?
他又是怎样死的?
警察:这个死得就有点可怜了。他是爬上树要采果子的时候被雷劈死了。
管理员奇怪道:这就有点不对了,被雷劈到为什么还会笑呢?
警察懒洋洋道:那时候是雷雨天,他爬上树后,突然一道闪电划过天空,
他以为有人要给他拍照,所以……
9. 话说数千年以前,无论是公狗或者是母狗,他们小便时都是用蹲着的, 直到唐朝,事情才有了转变.大家知道谁是唐太宗吧?话说他老人家养了一对北京狗,
有一次上华山祭天时,唐太宗便带了这对狗同去。祭天祭到一半时,母狗突然尿急,于是便跑到一棵树后解决。
这种不敬的行为惹恼了玉帝,所以他便命令雷公教训教训这只母狗!
雷公将雷打在母狗小解的树上,树倒了,压死了母狗,而这件事让看在眼里的公狗非常害怕。从此以后,大家都可看到每当狗在树下小便时,都会伸出一只脚,用力顶着树,以免大树会倒下来压死自己……
10. 一名中年妇人跑到交警面前说:有个无聊男子一直在后面跟踪我。
警察看了看她的脸,打量了一下她的身材,安慰她说: 我想他可能是一时喝醉了,你等一下就没事了!
11. 一剧场里,演出正在进行。阿呆站起来沿着一排座位走进了厕所。几分钟后,他回来了,向坐在这排的第一位观众问道:请问,我刚才踩到你的脚了吗?那名观众答:是的,不过没关系,现在不疼了。阿呆道:真不好意思,其实……我只是想证实一下我是不是坐在这排的……
12. 一天,阿呆开着车在乡村小路上溜达,突然看到一只袋鼠在路中央,耳朵及身体几乎是完全趴在地上,似乎在听着什么。于是,阿呆停下车很好奇地问:袋鼠啊,想请问一下你在听什么呢?袋鼠细声道:半小时前这里有一辆大货车经过……
阿呆:哇~ 你好厉害喔,这样都让你听到!你是怎么做到的?
袋鼠怒道:TNND的!我的脖子和腿就是这么断的啦~
13. 大胖妹问马场管理员:奇怪了,你们马场什么时候来了一头双峰骆驼呢?管理员冷冷地看着她:它不是骆驼,它是上次被你骑过的马……
14. 顾客:这防弹背心保险吗?
老板:当然保险啦!我卖出去那么多了,从来没人来退换过。
顾客:要是我穿上它时被杀了怎么办?
老板:没问题!到时你拿回来我保证退钱给你……
15. 狱警走进牢房,一边抖着雨衣,一边向即将被枪毙的死囚发号
命令,死囚想拖延时间,于是道:我们要冒着这么大的雨去刑场吗?
狱警说:你抱怨什么屁啊?待会儿你可以留在那里,我却还得冒着大雨回来呢!
16. 阿呆去一家公司应聘,招聘者问他:你都会些什么啊?
阿呆答道:我也不知道我会什么呢,可是我的前任老板就说我只有两样东西不会。
招聘者很有兴趣地问:哇~ 这么厉害?那你是哪两样不会的?
阿呆骄傲道:我前任老板对我说,“你这也不会,那也不会……”
17. 蜈蚣不小心让毒蛇咬了一口,立刻被送到医院急救。
医生诊断后对蜈蚣说:为防止毒液扩散,现在必须截肢!
蜈蚣安慰自己想:幸亏俺的腿多得是~
医生用充满怜悯的语气道:小兄弟,想开点,以后你就是蚯蚓了……
18. 阿呆:医生,我听觉好像有点问题,我几乎半聋了。
医生:是吗?你听到我现在对你说的话吗?
阿呆:听得到。
医生:那你重复一下我说的数字,六十六。
阿呆:三十三。
是不是真的很冷?好吧,赶快穿上寒衣吧!阿不要去喝温水了……